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Have you ever watched the movie Thirteen Going on Thirty with Jennifer Garner? In the movie Jennifer Garner's character is thirteen, wishing she was thirty. Hence the title. She is kind of an outsider in her high school, dreaming of being cool. In the movie the character reads a magazine cover that peaks her interest with a headline reading, "Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving". Wouldn't that peak your interest? Well, she does in fact get her wish and of course it's not all it's cracked up to be, but that's not where I'm going this post. I"m stuck on the "and Thriving" part.
I've recently been discussing life with a few friends. Did I say recently? I mean every day of my life. Some of my folks are in this season of life called twenties, and some of us are in this season single. No, this is not a post about singles. Again, not where I'm going. Others of us are in this season in our twenties, single, and just straight up confused about life. Pause. I have to say this is also not a whining post, only a post that is processing reality. If this season is not what you season looks like, please show grace in what I have to say about thriving.
I'm not there.
Kinda scary seeing that on the screen. One, I'm afraid you are all, especially those who know me in person, are going look at me after this post is published with pity. That is NOT what I want. Again, I'm processing life. And I would love love love feedback. Are you in my boat, or do you know what it's like to thrive, and can share advise? Two, I'm afraid that my feelings are not justified. There are beautiful things in my life. Don't confuse my confusing feelings with a lack of gratefulness.
Let me clarify where my heart is on this subject. I believe that God created His people to thrive. Yes and amen. Yet, we live in a fallen world. We weren't made for this fallenness. Instead of harmony and peace, most of us, everyday, experience instead the brokenness of this world. I also believe that in the fallenness we call "life" is joy unspeakable, and a reason (and ability) to thrive. I'm not thriving. It's more like surviving. Doing life everyday, but not fully engaged in my life. Does that make sense? In my effort to be vague, you may not be following me. The twenties are a challenging and exploratory time for many folk. Sometimes in all the exploring, people are simply searching, but not adventuring. That is where I find myself lately. God has awakened so many dreams in my heart, but I feel like I'm living with my passions on hold...Life is better when thriving, right? The ability to thrive is there to be accessed.
Insert the "how" question.
Here, I could right all the right verses. And it would be truth. I believe that. But that doesn't mean I know how to live it day in and out. I'm learning that there is a lot of depending on the Holy Spirit that I don't do. I look at Paul. He understood, really understood contentment. I look at Jennifer Adams and wonder why God puts up with my whining (I'm trying to leave the whining to my talks with Him, and let you see the less desperate me). I don't know, folks.
And I don't think I am going to try to answer my own question here.
Instead, I'll leave you with words far greater than mine. This is no band-aide mind you, but an active word (Hebrews 4:12).
Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day...Mine eyes are ever toward the Lord; for he shall pluck my feet out of the net (Psalm 25:5, 15).
Maybe one day I will have a post of answers instead of questions. Nah...